Breaking my blogging cherry.

Hello everyone! Happy Monday!

This is my very first blog post. I’ll be here posting about my live streaming experiences, good and not so good, my daily life as a female gamer and just my life in general. I may sometimes bitch, rant, complain, be funny, be stupid, or be inspiring. Just stick along for the ride.
Little bit about me.
My name is actually Katharine(Pronounced Kat-r-rine) , but I go by Kat, or if you want to call me Katie or Katharine, that’s fine by me. I have been gaming since I was a young child. At 4-5 years old my father picked me up a SEGA genesis at the local flea market that game with Sonic 2 and The Lion King. We had an Atari an a SNES but I never took an interest until I started playing Sonic. It kinda took off from there, and I got seriously into gaming when my father bought us a PsOne and GTA(For himself) when I was 7.

Since then I’ve been collecting and gaming as much as I can. I never gamed online until about 4 years ago when I finally got my first online game, which was Mario Kart for the Wii. I got hooked on the competitiveness and bought myself a PS3 soon after with Call of Duty:World at War. At the time I knew absolutely nothing about the online world and I’m just sitting there all innocent and cute with my bluetooth headset and I get into my very first online game and boom, it happened.
“Oh my god, its a girl.

“Get back in the kitchen”.

“You whore!

I was honestly horrified and a bit ignorant to the fact that this is what happens. I admit I cried and stayed away from it for a month or so. Played a lot of God of War in that time. I then grew some balls and got back on. I met some fun people luckily since I stuck to it and they taught me the ropes after learning I was fresh meat in the online gaming world. Soon enough I got into it, bought me a turtle beach headset(I was new. Don’t judge) and was slinging insults right back. Unfortunately I lost touch with that group after I had stopped playing Battlefield and CoD but I’m thankful I had met them.

I have very bad social anxiety and had to be put on medication for it. Yup. I have crazy pills. Social situations send me into a panic. I hate calling people. I hate speaking to people. When people join my party on PS I NEVER say hello first until someone else I am with does even if I know the person and have an even worse time saying goodbye or goodnight. I wish I could get past it so I can work better on my YouTube reviews and my Twitch streaming, but it will come in time. This has been cause by bullying growing up. I was bullied so badly in elementary school I had an actual police officer walk me home from the bus stop(Luckily I had a well respected Grandfather involved in the police department in his day) to protect me from kids beating the shit out of 8 year old me. In middle and high school I had actual teachers make the bully the victim and just told me to “grow up” when I got things thrown at me, insults like “Gay” and “Butch” “lesbian” ” whore” ETC. Going to go a bit off track here but one time I was brave and walked to get a slice of pizza at the local store for lunch in high school, and a group driving decided to chase me with their car on the SIDEWALK. The principal said I was lying and I just never bothered reporting the beatings or anything else again. I even had death threats MAILED to me though out my school years. So I am very untrusting, and very closed up. I only have 2-3 close friends and only one of which is not an online friend. I actually hate myself, hate my appearance and I NEVER go out because when I do I literally get people yelling at me.
Example, yesterday I was taking our sign in from out front at work, and I had a teenager yell “Whore” from their car window as her and her mother drove by.

I spent a lot of time, even class time, in the library. I had a couple teachers allow me to work on my class work in the library because they knew of the bullying in the classroom and the librarian was very understanding and actually kept the bullies out of the library. Thus I read a lot,got a lot of school work done and started to do chalk work which I never painted or sketched in my life and ended up winning a couple awards and sold some of my art in art shows. I also did short stories and am still proud of my story of a little African orphan coming second in a contest in the entire school in grade 10. I should really start writing again.
Anyway. Back on track

I currently reside in Canada. I live with my mother, my grandmother, my father and our four dogs; Copper, Princess, Ben and O.D. We also have three budgies, Romeo, Holly and Blu. I love my pets dearly. I have two piercings, eyebrow and nose, and three tattoos. Paw prints for each of my dogs, Bunny for my late bunnies on my shoulder and a cancer ribbon for my father.

I game a lot because its helped me a lot with my social anxiety and depression. I had tried to commit suicide after an abusive relationship a few years ago and I turned to gaming. I’ve met some amazing people on my way to where I am today. I’ll always be thankful for that, especially for the support of my Twitter followers. I may not talk to you on a daily basis, or even at all, but I’m always grateful for your support.

That’s it for now. I’m sorry for the long winded first post. Over 1000 words. I promise if you stick around my posts won’t be this long.
And you may get some awesome cookie recipes out of it.

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One comment

  1. Pingback: Hiatus ends now! | 4metal.info

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